More or Less.

I so desperately wanted for him to see in me what I saw in him.
Here was this guy who was the complete opposite

He was spontaneous

I'm not spontaneous. I'm a lover of schedules.

He loves nature and enjoys taking nature walks

I'd rather watch paint dry.

He always finds himself as the center of attention

I enjoy attention like the next girl but he thrives on it. 

You ever meet someone and from there on out, you just want to be around them in some capacity?! no.stalker.

I wanted my cake. I wanted to eat my cake. I wanted to drink milk with my cake.

I wanted to live in that space

where I could simultaneously be his friend and then some. 

homie.lover.friend.no girlfriend

He was a cool dude who was also soft on the eyes and kissed like there was no tomorrow

But tomorrow showed up on more than one occasion

the communication dwindled

and with most things

life went on....

We saw each other here and there

each interaction

more awkward than the last

.................................................................

I saw him recently

his eyes lit up when we crossed paths. 

he has this ability of making you feel like you're the only one in the room

for a moment I reveled in that moment

which was reminiscent of the beginnings of our "friendship"

..............................................................

Then a few nights ago he had a realization about his past interactions with women that I saw via his twitters. Twitter tells all.

Here I was thinking it was my fault.....something that I had done that changed the game.
I couldn't call it

But it was him....

At some point, along the way, he changed the rules

Leaving us women out to dry
Only to realize
it could have been handle better

I swallowed deep and texted the bestie. 

Her response: "I feel like all men who at their core are worth something but have been playing have this moment"

I think she's onto something.