There's a Possibility....

• My heart may never get broken. It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all right? What if I never know what love is? I love my friends and family. I love me. But what about that other love? I may never know. 
• I may never be a mother. My body has already made choices that I can't control that have forced me to question my fertility. My college years have been spent on avoiding pregnancy at all costs. Then all of a sudden the plan will change. All of a sudden starting a family will be the goal. I can hear my biological clock ticking. 
• I may never get married. I may never call a man my husband. As much as I would love to have a wedding, a husband ( a man that has decided to spend forever and a day with me) is worth so much more. 

Lately I have been thinking about my personal life and its future. When I came to college, I just KNEW I would find a great guy who would become my boyfriend. I just knew the relationship would be everything I needed it to be. Little did I know, that would not be the case. I have met and spent time in the presence of some wonderful men. I could tell you some stories..... ;-)

But none of them have shown up. None of them have separated themselves from the pack. None of them have seen in me what I have seen in them. Sometimes I think it's me. Sometimes I think it's them. Sometimes I think it's timing. I can't call it. 

Even in my most jaded moments (see the first bullet point), I wholeheartedly believe that I will fall in love. I will meet a man who compliments me. Who accepts my whole Diva routine. Who pronounces my name correctly. Who appreciates space. Who will not participate in Beyonce slander. Who recognizes that feminism is not a threat to his manhood.Who understands that when Grey's Anatomy is on he should sit there in silence or not be there at all. Who appreciates all my little quirks (ie I only use pens that have tops. Topless pens feel funny to me. *shrugs*)..... and who most of all doesn't mind standing beside that the girl with the peculiar name.

I have come to terms with the fact that I may never be someone's wife. People aren't getting married like they used to. I haven't pinned my hopes on marriage. But love, on the other hand, I see in my future.I want fairy dust and springtime sprinkled over everything. (<<<Get into that Their Eyes Were Watching God quote)Yes, I'm a hopeless romantic. Sue me. I know it won't always be roses. Roses have thorns. But in those moments when the relationship gets a snag, I'm sure the guy I'm sharing my heart with, will be my side. And if he's not, he's not. The lesson will be two fold. I'll know what it will feel like when love shows up and I'll know what it will feel like if love leaves.. There's gotta be something special about it. Everyone wants to be loved in some capacity. 

I want to be a mother even in these crazy times. Kids are taking more risks than I have in my entire college career.  That's another love I want to experience. Raising a child is NO joke believe I'm aware. My mother is amazing. I hope to one day, be the mother my mother is to me. (I have a friend whose mother passed away when he was young. My heart aches for him. After talking with him, I hold my mother tighter. I listen more. I hold her words closer to my heart.) I am blessed to still have my mother. I know she will be an even more amazing grandmother. ( I've already been told that she doesn't want to be called Grandma. Lolol)

I'm simply a girl with a lot of love to give.