Somewhere between white and black

The gray area is where I seem to find myself these days. What's more surprising?! I'm just fine with that. No one is asking me to do anything that I don't want to do and no one is expecting any more from then what I'm already giving.

‎"if you give me your heart - i will give you a smile. that's the best i can do right now."-skinnyjeanius

Despite my propensity for always coming of short, you think that I would no longer wear my heart on my sleeve. But I can't stop being me. :) Unlike one of the besties who has mastered the art of keeping her feelings intact and to herself, I continue to lead with an open heart and an open mind. Hope is a mf*. Maybe I'll take SkinnyJeanius's advice

"i wear my heart on my sleeves. i make sure i always have on a dirty shirt."

But we only get one life right?! I was told my twenties are the times to make the mistakes (Thank you Sex and The City). We spend so much time trying not to get attached or involved. Hurt and heart break will effect us all. It's inevitable. I can't avoid it. Is it possible to love smart? Let me be realistic and rephrase: Is is possible to like smart?! ((lets be real I've never been in love or in anything close to it. Now "like" I know all about))

Here's the thing, there are no play books. There are no rules. Just mistakes made with the hope that said mistakes won't be made again. Like I said hope is a mf*

I say all of this to say,I like him. ((Crushes keep me young. Lol)). I'm just gonna enjoy this feeling. No pressure for me, no pressure for him. No one is asking for my heart and nor am I asking for theirs. The only thing I ask of them is to let me enjoy this. The side smiles and the cute conversations. I will enjoy them.

So this gray area I find myself in is just fine.