Too much. Not Enough

• It's Week 3 of this glorious quarter. I wanna start it over again. I just need a few more hours in my day and I'm sure I could actually tackle my to-do list.
• Use your words or say nothing at all. Simple.
• There's a difference between being non-confrontational and not being able to confront people at all. I know where I fall. ((trust and believe))
• I need to put this on a shirt: Finish the deal or chalk it up. <<<this seems to be the theme of the season. I need everyone to hop on board.
• Thinking back on my years in undergrad....I would do it all again, in the same skin I'm in. Even the not so shiny, fun parts. It's amazing how the cookies crumble and sometimes come back together. ;-)
• Asset or liability: where do you fall?!
• She mentioned your name. I softened. I caught my breath in my throat. I guess there will always be a soft spot for what could've been. I have no problem admitting it. #noshame. However, I'm not acting on it. What's meant to be will be and what's not meant to be will be just that. #chalkedup ;-)
• I'm convinced some songs are written specifically for me and my situation like Mariah's Emancipation of MiMi album ((yes the whole album..Lol)) and Adele's Someone Like You and Turning  Tables. ((I may have to write an entire post about songs that  speak to my entire soul))
• I love this life. Sometimes I am absolutely spent. But what do I really have to complain about?! Exactly. It could be sooooo much worse. So glad its not!
• More sleep. More studying. Less eating. More flirting. More money. More drinks. More good times. Less drama. More exercise. More smiles. More memories. <<< I'm down 

Expectations: Getchu Some

I run a tight ship.
"How I operate: I give you the energy you give to me. If I seem like "blah"--Check Yourself"-- @SkinnyJeanius
Know your role and act accordingly.
Know your position and never think it's more than what it is....it's not--- @necolebitchie

.....the quotes above pretty much sums up how I lead my life. If my life were movie, everyone has a role. Most importantly I am the star ;-) I'm all about consistency and reciprocity when friendships are involved. I wasn't always like this. I was always the one rearranging my life for the needs of others but those same people weren't doing the same for me. Say what?? Oh no ma'am!!! Something had to give. My philosophy about friendships and acquittance's changed. Some people didn't make the cut. In the long run, that was probably the best decision for all involved. I no longer go out of my way for people. No one is exempt from this. I've been told that I'm a little too rigid. I'm not flexible and that I'm able to cut people off without a care. (I must admit I do make that look easy. Lol. Admittedly, it is not. But my peace of mind is the most important. *shrugs*)
Why am I saying all of this?!
I have a friend whose inconsistency irritates me to no end. He does not know how I roll. He apparently didn't get this memo: Inconsistency is the the real weapon of mass destruction. I do not subscribe to it and I do not support it. 


Apparently I need to send out a new memo and make sure I CC him ;-)
I love making friends and all that jazz
But friendships with me come with two expectations: consistency and reciprocity.
Get with it or get lost.
I make no apologies
Sometimes in life, you have to take a stand.



on my team you have one time to slack - then you will slack no more - on my team ((@skinnyjeanius))

Deemed Unfit

"What's a girl to do?? What would you do??


this is text I got from one of the besties and for the first time in a long time....I didn't have a witty, all knowing response. Lol
Instead all I had to give her were my memories of what may have been to make her understand at this juncture I am ill equipped for advice.
Why?
Well because....
girl meets boy
girl likes boy
boy disappears
girl is confused
Yes that's pretty much what happened in the abridged version of my life.
How can I give advice to a friend, when I'm still holding on to something that may have not been there in the first place but I think was there, that I hope was there, that I'm pretty sure was there????

Do you see all of that confusion???? It's exhausting and yet I find myself there day in and day out..
Like a bad habit
I can't shake him
Like something that sticky that won't go away
Well let's be honest
I haven't tried to shake or blow (did I giggle? yes I did)

So I ask myself, "What's a girl to do?"

My answer: I'm not quite sure. I'm gonna continue to distract myself until I find the energy to examine the whys and the why not's of Disappearing Act (this is what I shall call him for now. Lol)

Is it avoidance? I can't call it.... *shrugs*
So what about my bestie and her situation. She's still confused.
We'll be confused together.

I mean that's all I can offer
It's something, right?!

In Response: To All the Boys I've Loved Before

**I've decided to start a "series" called In Response (Thanks to Shihan). This will feature my response to other blog posts, poems, pictures, or anything else that tickles my fancy :) Also a line or two of said poem were taken from Skinny Jeanius quotes #homage**

To All the Boys I Have Yet to Love:

My heart is on my sleeve

but my shirt is dirty

covered in the memories of what may have been

Don't mistake these memories as baggage

They are revelations that I have decided to keep

Pieces of me that I don't want to forget

In between my love for me and my appreciation for my past

my future love for you will lie

loving me will not be easy

but it will be worth it

be ready for truth

be ready to love fully

my heart is on my sleeve

but my shirt is dirty

I'm waiting for the man

who is willing to

find

it