Random Rumblings #4

Emotions have been on high today.
............
One of the bestie's is moving away.
It was a tear fest.
I could barely hold it together when I got up to speak in front of her family and friends
This girl has been a constant since day one. Literally. I met her at orientation
I'm sad to see her go but I know that this a good thing for her ;-)
I'm gonna miss her though.
My cup runneth over ((from the movie Hope Floats))
...........
Saw a slew of the homies last night when I went out
It was great to see them
Time flies
I tell you
They were still cute (I know how to pick them hehe)
reminding of all the reasons why I fell for them in the first place
but that feeling quickly faded
a girl is trying to take two steps forward not 8 steps back
................
Gotta step the PCAT studying game all THEE way up.
...................
For a second I thought I was overreacting.
I thought I was being dramatic; making a big deal out of something.
But I don't think I am.
I'm in that space when something happens and it makes you question everything.

questioning my place in this game we call life.

I so want to go back to the way things were.

But maybe that's not how this story was supposed to continue

Things happen for a reason right?
I've been in my head/emotions/feelings all day today
I'm hoping with my whole heart this is just a sick and twisted episode of Punk'd
and Ashton will pop out from coat closet

trying to make sense of it all
and I've come up with nothing
acknowledging apologies along the way
not too sure where to put them
since they provide little comfort
no consolation
Not saying the apologies weren't genuine
but a bad decision still occurred
consequences
no regard was taken
none whatsoever
they say time heals all wounds
but they failed to mention
a time frame
I don't like curve balls
I don't like surprises
I don't like blatant disrespect
I like when people do the things that are asked of them
I told someone today if friendship was a points game that would've lost 10,000 points.
I'm sick of crying (be it tears of joy or anger)
I think I'm all dried up
I have nothing left
My emotions are frazzled
My eyes are tired
I am spent

i guess shit happens

I just wish it wasn't me

--mayda

Tainted Love

I heard that when you don't know what to do. Be still. But I can't be still. I must write...

they say there is a lesson in everything.

but today in this moment

 i'm struggling to understand what I'm supposed to learn.

promises were broken

the worst part about it is 

i had a feeling

an inkling

a premonition 

livid

hurt

angry

.....simply disappointed

She said, "Nowhere to go but  up?"

True

We cannot go back in time

What's done is done

However

A once flawless friendship 

is now tainted

.....some things should simply never happen

Parties,Pet Peeves, and Pink Panties

I attended two parties this weekend. They were full of laughter, good music, and a hand full of blankstares. O_o Let's get into why!

• It appears that the most disrespectful songs are the ones that I love to dance to. Case in point: Make it Rain Trick and Bring it Back by Travis Porter are in steady rotation. Judge me not.
• Being the girlfriend of a guy who has a lot of female friends must be hard. Jumping in the arms of someone else's boyfriend doesn't help. 
• I'm a G. 
• Insecure guys make my head spin. Lock it up, act accordingly, and get out of my face. ((See point above))
• Pink Panties: Pink Lemonade and Tequila<---basically the best idea ever
• Staying at a party until 5 am.....who am I? It was fun doe.
• Small talk with people I don't like is not my thing. I don't participate in it. The end.
• Twerking is an art form. I support it. ((Twerk Team))
• You graduated two years ago. We shouldn't be at the same party.
• Leggings aren't for everyone. Please stop oppressing me with your camel toe. Get smart and wear a shirt long enough to cover that ish up
• Thank God for texting and friends that are awake at 3am. 
• My love for ratty songs was suppressed for an entire 48 hours. That is something I never wanna experience again. That is what withdrawal must feel like. ((cues Make it Rain))

• Openly talking about other women while at a party is not cool. Especially when that same woman is minimal.(rolls eyes)
• Party play lists are crucial. A random song can ruin the whole vibe. But Trina's Look Back At Me can put the party right back on track. ((falls out))
• Apparently I know all the words to Get it Girl by Chip the Ripper. Not everyone can say the same.
• If I was dancing and then sat down when you approached...it probably means I don't want to dance with you. O_o

Picture courtesy of [http://thatretailchick.me/2010/12/27/travis-porter-jive-records-make-it-rain-on-urban-radio-charts/]